The LA Hustle

The LA Hustle has learned that a vast majority of Fortune 500 companies are at least 51% owned and controlled by a jolly old time barrelhouser from Missoula, MT.

"Always Smiling Sloppy Joe on the Ivories" by Noah Jon Blakey,2010

Mitch “Sloppy Joe Fats” MacLane started building his outrageous fortune in the late 1800’s after purchasing “Gonif The Great’s Fountain of Youth Elixir” from a traveling huckster and then investing all of his bar tips in Blue Chip stocks over the next one hundred plus years.

“I’m in this for the long haul” said MacLane in between sets at The Lewis and Clark Brothel and Grill. “Most of my fiduciary know how comes from “The Late Great” Scott Joplin who wrote a little known Ragtime classic entitled, ‘Maple Leaf Guide to Big Returns via Long Term Investments in b flat’.”

When asked about his youthful appearance MacLane would not comment on any particulars. He did however acknowledge that “Hanging out with card sharks, floozies and bar keepers for over a century has kept me young at heart!”

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 16th, 2010 at 5:45 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.