"A House Surrounded by Pines" by Noah Jon Blakey,2009
A charming Hamlet in rural Mississippi has decided to join the rest of the world by clear cutting every living tree, shrub and flower within reach.
“Trees are dirty and they might fall on me!” Said Brother Fergusson, a local lawn mower repairman, when asked why he had demolished all visible signs of plant life on his property. “I don’t wanna get sued and I need the space to park my cars that don’t run to good!”
Although there is a silent majority who seek to preserve this unusually pristine village, rarely do they object to the relentless buzz of chainsaws for concerns of offending their machete wielding neighbors. “They put up a giant metal building right next to the property line.” Says Lacey Nichols as she points out the juxtaposition of her fauna covered land to the adjoining barren church parking lot. “We had hoped that the Baptists would use a bit more finesse, but we didn’t say anything…”